PART 5

I just went on crying non stop until announcement that visiting hours are over was made. I turned the other side and just cried about everything my fucked up parents, my fucked life even my little sister.

I was still crying when I felt someone shaking me I pulled back the blanket quickly with hope that it Nzuzo but it wasn’t, it was another girl

Her: “hi, whatever it is that you and your boyfriend were fighting about it will work out.

Everything will be just fine give him time to cool off”
Me: “thank you” she smiled I sat up “I’m Yamkelani”
Her: “Sindiswa, what are you in for”
Me: “miscarriage and broken rib”
Sindiswa: “did he hit you? that why you lost the baby”

Me: “no ofcos not Nzuzo would never hurt me. His ex and her friends hit me”

Sindiswa: “I’m sorry”
Me: “thank you” she took out juice started drinking it I looked at the plastics there was 5 pieces of kfc, bread, mixed fruits, chips, juice and toiletries with pjs I took my phone and sent him a call back

Sindiswa: “where you from?”
Me: “Dumisa and you?” We continued talking getting to know each other she was here because she had a backstreet abortion and went horribly wrong.

dinner was served but I didn’t eat after dinner we got our pills I just laid on the bed trying to fall asleep. My phone
rang it was Nzuzo I had sent him a call back hours ago
Me: “hello”
Nzuzo: “hi, are you okay?”
Me: “yes how is Masisi”
Nzuzo: “she’s sleeping”
Me: “thank you Nzuzo”
Nzuzo: “for what”
Me: “taking care of me and Masisi”
Nzuzo: “it what you do for someone you love”
Me: “I’m sorry Nzuzo”
Nzuzo: “who is he?”

Me: “you don’t know him it was a once off thing Nzuzo I’m sorry I should have told you”
Nzuzo: “k” he dropped the call.
I know I should have told him but I couldn’t, I couldn’t risk him looking at me and just seeing dirt the girl who fucks her father. I cried myself to sleep.

In the morning the doctor came to see us he told me I will be discharged after they cleaned my wounds. I sent Nzuzo a call back and he called me during lunch time at school, said he will come he will have to go to the principal and ask for leave .

So I stayed for about 3 hours I had already signed the discharge papers when Nzuzo came
Nzuzo; “hi, here I hope they fit I don’t know you sizes” I took the mr price plastic went to the bathroom changed out of the pjs he had bought me a black maxi dress and denim jacket with sandals it all fitted me.

This thing of Nzuzo spending money on me worried me because the Nzuzo I know didn’t have money he took care of his uncle’s cows and played soccer for extra cash. I went back to him he had collected my food

Me: “thank you it fitted”

Nzuzo: “you look beautiful let’s go” we left in silence taking a taxi to Mzinto then from there another taxi to Dumisa all in silence he was angry and if there’s one thing I know about angry man is that you let them be or you will find yourself with a half swollen face.

We got off atthe taxi stop walked home once again in silence

Nzuzo: “does he know you lost the baby”
Me: “we don’t talk I told you it was a once off mistake” He stopped walking and looked at me his eyes were red I could see his veins on his forehead

Nzuzo: “you don’t get to do this Yamkelani! You don’t get to hurt me to lie to me then dismay it like that” he wiped his tears with the back of his hand “

you don’t get to fuck me up then simply say sorry it was a once of thing. No Yamkelani you don’t get to do that to me!” He was crying and shouting

Me: “Nzuzo I’m sorry”

Nzuzo: “yeah well I’m also sorry but whatever this is it over and done” he gave me the plastic he was carrying “I’ll bring Masisi but I don’t ever want to talk to you or even see you” he left I turned and got in the yard I opened the door and got in I was still in a little pain I sat on the couch watched tv while eating leaving some for
Masisi.

After awhile she got in and threw herself at me
Masisi: “i was so scared Yammy, Nzuzo told me you went to the hospital”
Me: “I’m ok Masisi” she pulled out of the hug and pecked my lips softly

Masisi: “Nzuzo said I must take care of you and you two are not friends anymore” I felt my tears falling Masisi wiped them “it’s ok Yammy I’m still your friend and I won’t stop okay I promise”

Me: “thank you” she smiled and sat next to me

Masisi: “woo kfc!” She took some started eating “now that you and Nzuzo are not friends he won’t be buying us nice stuff” I giggled
Me: “I’ll buy us nice stuff when I start work” we stayed watching tv and eating until it was late we took baths then went to sleep.
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The following day we went to school at lunchtime Nzuzo didn’t come to me I had actually not seen him when the siren rang indicating that we had to go back to classes

I put my lunchbox in my bag stood up and started walking to class. I ran into Hloni she looked horrible she had a bruised eye it was swollen and closed all navy and black

Hloni: “what you staring at mxm”
Me: “nothing, I wasn’t staring”

Hloni: “voestek” she walked away so did I.

After school I was looking alone as usual when I saw Nzuzo walking with some girl from school he was even carrying her bag I felt something brake inside me I went pass them he didn’t even greet they were talking and laughing. I found my little sister at home already playing alone outside

Masisi: “hey Yammy”
Me: “hey how was school”
Masisi: “I got 96 for my tests”
Me: “heck yeah smarty pants” we high fived then got in the house
Masisi: “I was the highest in the whole grade Yammy everyone clapped hands for me”
Me: “I’m so proud of you” I kissed her head “tonight I’ll make you whatever you want me to make”

Masisi: “anything?”
Me: “anything”
Masisi: “I want fried beef and pap with chakalaka”
Me: “ok” she jumped on the bed we were changing I wore leggings and a vest with the jacket Nzuzo bought me

Me: “finish up and come for lunch” I went to soak our uniforms made lunch, after lunch I washed our uniforms then we went to the tap. I found Nzuzo there with his boy cousins talking with a group of girls by the tap
Masisi: “Nzuzo has new friends”

Me: “I see it like his everywhere now”
Masisi: “hello Nzuzo” she screamed for him he looked at us and called her over
Me: “give me your bucket” she did then she ran to Nzuzo I waited for my turn when it came I filled up our buckets then I called Masisi who was kicking a soccer ball with Nzuzo we went
home I cooked after dinner we watched tv until 21:30 I cleaned we took a bath then did out
homework.

Days went by with Nzuzo ignoring me it hurt so bad I saw him almost everyday with that same girl they were in a relationship sometimes i would find them kissing around school she was in his class. Months later we started with final exams, my parents hadn’t been home since before I went to the hospital they just sent money with a taxi driver for me to buy food. spaghetti evening gowns

Exams came and went soon enough reports came out my sister and I obviously passed she
was way smarter than me.
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We were on our 2nd week into December holidays Masisi and I were just chilling watching tv while talking when the door opened and dad got in he looked a little tired if you get over
him being cruel you could actually notice that he is not a bad looking person his light skinned actually both him and mom are light skinned.

Dad: “hello kids”
Us: “yebo baba”
Dad: ” I’m so tired Yamkelani can I get bathing water then food”
Me: “ok” I went to fix him water then took it to his room he took a bath while I warmed up
dinner then I dished up for him

Masisi: “when is he leaving” I just laughed
Me: “don’t be rude that’s your father”
Masisi: “he is not my father he doesn’t even look like me”
Me: “hayi Masisi don’t talk like that”

Masisi: “mxm I’m going to sleep”
Me: “but Zalo hasn’t played”
Masisi: “ayi I’m not in the mood anymore” she went to our room I continued watching tv after awhile dad came down I gave him his food

Dad: “thank you” he started eating “your mother doesn’t take care of me not that she doesn’t want to she just can’t she’s lazy in everything that I fell in love with you because you know how to take care of me I wish I could marry you”

Me: “oh”
Dad: “you love me right? I mean I know I’m old but I’m still attractive and I make you happy
I take care of you”

Me: “you my father you can’t talk to me like that”
Dad: “mxm you so foolish” I stood up
Me: “goodnight”

Dad: “whatever” I went to our room Masisi was playing games on my phone or rather her phone because I don’t use it anymore since Nzuzo doesn’t call me anymore even on whatsapp he didn’t chat to me he was always online putting his girlfriend’s picture as a profile picture or a picture of the both of them even writing status about her and she was
really pretty.

Me: “switch that phone off I want to sleep”
Masisi: “but I’m still playing”
Me: “sleep”
Masisi; “don’t transfer your anger to me”
Me: “Masisi don’t forget your age I’ll smack you” she sat up
Masisi: “what are you waiting for? Do it! Hit me Yamkelani actually kill me because I don’t
want live the life you living because I know it will get that”
Me: “I don’t know what you talking”

Masisi: “mxm” she went to sleep facing away from my side I changed into my pjs and joined
her in bed I pulled her close to me
Me: “i love you little sister” she started crying
Masisi: ” I’m sorry I spoke to you like that”
Me: ” it’s ok”

Masisi: “i love you too” we sang to her while brushing her hair until she fell asleep.

The following day I woke up made breakfast for everyone, after breakfast I cleaned.

Basically that was my life chores and tv.
Dad had been home for 2 week everything was okay he was okay no insults and no sex certainly no beating he was just normal Masisi and I were even comfortable, mom came
home for Christmas.

We didn’t have extended family never met any of my grandparents or even cousins and aunts and uncles we didn’t even talk about them it was just us 4.

After Christmas mom went back to Mzinto I was napping I had a headache I woke up when I heard
Masisi scream i quickly followed her voice she was in the lounge dad was busy on top of her I just saw red I started hitting him but he pushed me off I hit my back and head on the wall

I stood up ran to the kitchen the first thing I saw was a knife I ran back to the lounge and stabbed him on his neck blood started oozing out.

He collapsed on top of her I pushed him off and pulled her up she was crying and covered in blood I put her on my back and ran out in was already dark I ran and ran until I couldn’t breath Masisi had stopped crying I sat on the grass put her down her eyes were closed

Me: “Masisi wake up” but she didn’t move I screamed for her to wake up wailing I shook her
hard even slapping her but she wouldn’t wake up. ? ?